Sorry, Mark & Richard. Not in Belmar, NJ.
The ruffians of Belmar, NJ must be stopped. Not only do they bring in hundreds of thousands of dollars in income to the town, what with their spending money on rentals, dinners at Kleins, kegs from The Little Red Barn, bar tabs at the Boat House, Bar A and DJais, ice cream cones from Strollos, and season badges from the Taylor Pavilion, but they dare think that they have the right to drink outside (alcohol, no less) on the very property that they have paid money to rent.
Don't worry, the town of Belmar is putting a stop to the maddness. The Beer Pong Ordinance will do just that, starting August 17. My two favorite sections from this new piece of legislative brilliance are:
WHEREAS, municipal officials and residents have taken notice of the increasing frequency of occasions on which occupants of summer rental properties in the community have begun engaging in games and contests on their lawns and porches that involve as an element of the game or contest the consumption or use of alcoholic beverages; examples of same games are Beer Pong and chugging contests;
WHEREAS, the Mayor and Council find that the playing of such outdoor alcohol related games and contests can expose these families and their impressionable children to foul language, rowdy and disorderly behavior and to examples of the consumption of alcohol under circumstances that are detrimental and to which they ought not to be exposed, and that can adversely affect the health, safety and welfare of these children, their families and the general public.
WHEREAS, the Mayor and Council find that the playing of such outdoor alcohol related games and contests can expose these families and their impressionable children to foul language, rowdy and disorderly behavior and to examples of the consumption of alcohol under circumstances that are detrimental and to which they ought not to be exposed, and that can adversely affect the health, safety and welfare of these children, their families and the general public.
Apparently the MeatHeads of Belmar are going to get drunk, through debacherous Beer Pong games and chugging contests and adversely affect the health, safetly and welfare of children, their families and the general public. Here and I thought they only beat up eachother. Looks like that's not enough. Get some chugging contests going and they'll be after your children too.
I'm a local. I grew up in the area, went to high school in Belmar. I dislike the traffic that the Bennys bring. I get huffy waiting in line for a bar. I don't particularly ever want to step foot in DJais and Bar A makes me cranky. I can appreciate a Noise Ordinance. Keep it down, no one wants to hear your house music going at 3 am. Fine. I can also handle the Open Container law. But last I checked, if you're 21 and you're on your own property, you can drink if you want to. And you can play games if you want to. If the two are combined, then more power to you. Drinking! and Fun! Please, let's put an end to that. Does playing horseshoes, drinking a Coors light get you a hundred dollar fine? You bet. How about Wiffle Ball? Yup. A game of cards? If there's a beer nearby, watch out. This is like something straight out of a college Student Life handbook. What's next, The Six Pack Ordinance? Only 6 beers in the fridge for every occupant in the house.
I suggest the renters of Belmar take a stand. On August 17, when this law goes into affect, everyone stand on your front lawn, side lawn or porch and start playing Rock, Paper, Scissor. Loser chugs. Wait until the cops come around and then put your hands in your pockets. It's the new thing.
Start a Rock, Paper, Scissor Revolution. And Damn the Man.
